Goodbye Madurai

I feel like I am supposed to beginning this blog post stating, “I just CANT believe it is already time to leave!!!” The truth is though, I really can believe it. This is not to say that I didn’t have an absolutely incredibly time, because I did. Rather, I am just ready to move on. I am ready to explore north India- feel like a tourist, eat different food, be around more foreigners and therefore be less self-conscious all the time. I am ready to explore Thailand and sprawl on beaches (this may even include exposing my shoulders and ankles! Oh boy!). I am ready to relax in Myanmar with my family and allow someone else to be in charge of all the difficult details involved in the trains, planes, and hotels of travelling (thanks Mike!). Mostly though I am ready to feel like me again. My life in India has been amazing- everything about it is an adventure. I experienced a whole new wardrobe, a whole new family, new friends, new foods, a new language, new expectations, new classes, new professors, new ways of going to the bathroom, the list will really never end. While this was so exciting in the beginning and such an overall wonderful learning experience because it has caused me to question many of my assumptions and habits, I have reached a point where I am ready to return to things that remind me of who I am. More than anything I miss the control I had in the US.

 Being an American woman, I have grown up feeling entitled to my independence and power over my own life. If I am hungry, there are multiple ways I can get food. If I am hot and itchy at night I have a plethora of options available to me to solve the problem. I am used to being able to go shopping alone, being able to wear clothes that are cozy or clothes that make me feel beautiful. I am used to being able to have some alone time. I am used to being able to make decisions:  when I shower, how much food I eat, whether I exercise, what jewelry I wear, etc. In India people do not do things alone as much, alone time is granted to me only when I say that I am napping and tightly bolt the door (sometimes my pesky little sisters will still bust through my door to double check that I am really sleeping). Decisions are made as a group. Also being a woman means a different thing here. I cannot leave the home alone at night, if I need something (like mosquito repellent or bottled water, I should have thought ahead). I cannot wear tight clothing or clothing that shows my ankles or shoulders. To do so would bring shame to my family and, more alarmingly, it would literally invite unwanted harassment from men.

One of the things I am looking forward to most about returning home is being alone in my dorm room, playing my own music out loud, and drinking tea amidst my fairy lights and posters. I miss being able to do things that make me happy to be myself and be alive and just be. I miss playing the piano, I miss singing, I miss my family and friends, I miss my life.

I really feel like this the perfect place to be as my semester abroad is ending. I know that I will not even comprehend the things that I will desperately miss about India until a few months from now but I am happy that in this moment, I want to return home. India has taught me to be grateful for many of the things that I just took for granted. Who would have known that my relatively “normal” life in the US could seem so appealing? Maybe this is why people go on great crazy adventures. They leave to explore and see new things and meet new people and broaden their horizons, etc , etc etc. But I think they might also leave because it makes the returning so much sweeter.

I love India. I love the spicy food. I love how warm it is. I love being barefoot, whizzing through overcrowded streets at hair-raising speeds and seeing so many brilliant colors everyday. I love how many people smile at me and say hi and ask me if I need help. I love wearing billowy clothes that are simple and comfortable in a place where people don’t think they make you look like a balloon. I love how much attention my host sisters and host grandma slather on me. I love their accents. I love how my host mom laughs and how she expresses love to her children through poking fun at them and pretending to be angry. I love how my laundry is always washed, dried in the sun, and ironed for me. I love how everyone EVERYWHERE wants to feed me: all of my host mom’s friends, my auto driver, my henna and veena teachers, random people on the train, etc etc. I love how there is tea time twice a day and no one misses it. Our classes are scheduled around tea. I love the curd here (aka yogurt).  I love how songs are exchanged as a polite offering (you sing to me, I will sing to you- thus we will welcome each other). I love drinking coconuts. I love how angry I am that I cannot get a mango because it is not mango season. I love how much random strangers love my nose ring and attempts to speak Tamil.

I could go on forever. The thing is, I love this place. I really do. I am incredibly happy that I came here.  With that being said, I am also happy to be going home and returning to things that are familiar, places I feel like I fit in, and all you people I love!

Karnataka Tour!

On the 12^th of October we set off on our second tour. This time we ventured to a northern state called Karnataka. Karnataka is similar to Tamil Nadu in many ways except that it is cooler (further north), the food is sweeter, and they speak Kannada rather than Tamil. We visited 3 different cities throughout our trip. First we were in Mysore where we saw the renowned Mysore palace. It really is incredibly beautiful. Next we went to Hampi, the enormous sprawling ruins that once constituted the capital of a South Indian kingdom. We had a few days to explore and wander by ourselves which was pure heaven. One of the days we spent was hands down one of my favorite days in India thus far. We awoke early in our beautiful hotel, ate breakfast and hopped onboard the bus that took us to the ruins. When we reached the heart of Hampi we rented cycles and proceeded to spend the rest of the morning cycling through the beautiful countryside. We would pause at particularly breathtaking views or especially enchanting temples. Then we would park our bikes and just wander through the ruins, winding our way past sacred spaces, coconut trees and banana forests. At one very small Vishnu temple I sat reading and meditating while a few of the others climbed around a bit. I was filled with so much tranquility and peace.  For lunch we ate at this great little spot called the Mango Tree. I had some “western” food- hummus and chappati and vegetables and fruit- JUST what I needed. In the afternoon we wandered around a bit and visited some shops until we boarded the bus back to our hotel. That evening we went swimming in our hotel pool and got in trouble for our outfits. We figured that it would be best to wear our salwar kameez (dress pants outfit) because they were more conservative but we got reprimanded for not wearing “swimming costumes”. When I asked the man what he meant by that he explained that swimming costumes were nylon body suits… so basically wet suits. Oops, guess I forgot that.

After Hampi we went to Bangalore just for a day (night train in and night train out) but it was magical! It is such a hip, happening place. It’s a very metropolitan city with western clothes, western food, and bars. Wow- very different. I traversed the city with my friend Reann. We ate INCREDIBLE Japanese food (it was sushi festival week) and had our feet eaten by fish in a Japanese fish spa. The fish eat off all of the dead skin and thus give you very clean and soft feet but it feels super bizarre. They can see your feet coming which causes them all to surge to the surface of the water in this terrifying mass of hungry little beasts. Dipping your feet into their mouths is pretty much the last thing you want to do. However, once you get over the gut instinct to flee, and ignore the weird tickling pricking sensations, it is kind of rewarding. I mean, it never got exactly relaxing or comfortable, but I’m glad I did it- it was definitely an experience to be had.

When we returned to Madurai this Saturday, we were launched into the heart of the 9 day festival called Navaratiri. My family goes ALL OUT for this holiday and my house was completely bedecked in images of Gods, lights, incense, colors, gold, food, etc.  I have many many pictures on my camera which I will upload soon. I have to go to lunch now but I will continue this post soon! Much love!!

p.s. It is COOLER FINALLY!!!!! 

The Journey Continues!

Hello! I apologize for being so out of touch recently. Something interesting you may not have known about south india: there is not enough power to go around. The electricity gets shared throughout the different neighborhoods throughout the day so on average, one area will only have 10 hours of power, leaving behind 14 hours of no power (each day). Luckily my home is right next to the hospital so our power is not cut- we have fans all day long!!! Most of my friends though are not as lucky. The other implication of this is that often when I have free time at school, the internet will not be working (if the power is gone, there is no internet). Anyway so it has been a frustrating bit of time but anyway, here I am!

About a week ago my program (SITA) went on tour to Kerala. This means that the 12 students (myself included), our two program assistants, andour  two adult program directors got on a large van and left Tamil Nadu for a week! Kerala is a neighboring state in south india but it couldn't be more different! Tamil Nadu (where I live) is very arid and dry and hot. It is on the south east tip of india. Kerala is on the south west tip so it borders the Arabian Sea. It is incredibly green, lush, and verdant. It is part sea coast and part jungle. We totally took advantage of the climate change. We went trekking in the jungle (it was a tiger preserve, luckily none of us were eaten!). We also toured a spice garden. We saw cinnamon trees, tumeric plants, ate desperately spicy peppers, touched rubber flowing from rubber trees and ran very quickly away from alarmingly large spiders. We were also supposed to visit a tea plantation but, due to a state-wide strike against rising petrol prices, we were unable to do this. However, we were still able to drive through the tea plantations. Oh my goodness! It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. The tea is grown in these rugged hills where the hillsides are cut into large steps in order to support the tea bushes. The color green was so rich and deep that it seemed synthetic. The mist was pouring down over the whole scene. As we were winding around the hills on precarious mountain roads perched on cliffsides, I couldn't stop staring at all of the incredible scenes around us, we were trying to capture it with out camers but unfortunatly between the bumpiness of the ride and the reflective glass in the windows, nothing came out. I have found a picture on line that doesn't really do it justice but it is better than nothing:

We also went to a town called Fort Cochin which was the entry port for almost all the civilizations that conquered India in the past: Greeks, Portugese, Dutch, British. We visited the first christian church built on the sub continent by Vasco da Gamma. He died and was buried in the church for a bit until his family brought him back to Europe. Cochin is very touristy but very very beautiful. We walked past Chinese fishin nets which were selling the fish they had caught directly on site, a tea shop that had herbal tea!, and many jewlery and cloth stores. I have saved the best for last, we also were able to go RIDING ON ELEPHANTS! This was one of my favorite ways that I have ever spent 30 minutes. Elephants are such large, powerful, ethereal creatures. I sat up front where I could huge its neck the entire time. Our muhoot told us that they wiggle their ears only to display affection and play around- it serves no other purpose (rather like dogs wagging their tails). I realized that my elephant really liked to be scratched and petted so I just about rubbed my hands raw on her sandpaper skin trying to give her love. She was flapping her ears quite joyously. Basically we are best friends. I know that whole thing is a total show and gimmick- they get the elephants to do special tricks with their trunks and do fun poses with you while they take pictures on your camera. But honestly, I didn't mind one bit. Sometimes cheesyness just doesnt matter.

Tour was perfect because it gave us a chance to get away and relax. It was the first thus far in India that we have really been able to just let our hair down. In the beginning we were all still on our guard with each other. Then when we moved in with our host families there was even more dramatic adjusting to do. Even now I often feel like I have to be "on" at home making sure that I don't unintentionally violate social norms. On tour we were able to just kick back, take off the desperately annoying duppattas, and be relaxed.

Returning to Madurai was really amazing too because it felt so much like home. It was great to sleep in my bed again, have service, see my family, resume classes. Having a schedule and routine every day brings normalcy to a place where so much is foreign and bizarre. I think I am also aclimating to the heat because honestly, I was cold in rainy Kerala and thankful to return to the warmth of Madurai (although I am one of the only students who feels this way).

Life has continued on amazingly. There is still so much I want to blog about! I will make a list that I can return to in the future.

1- THE FOOD! Oh my goodness. The food is so unreal that I could describe it forever. I want to wait to get deeply into this topic until my camera/ computer connection is official and I can show pictures.

2- Religion

3- The clothing and style

4- The arranged marriage system

5- The veena/ yoga/ mehendi (my three expressive cultural classes. The veena is a very crazy looking and very twangy sounding guitar-like instrument that I adore. Mehendi is the art of applying henna (the brown paste that dies your skin).

6- All of the incredible people on my program! Know for now that I hold every single one of these 11 others on SITA next to my heart. They are all such strong, incredible, interesting and passionate people. They make my experience here richer in a million ways.

7- More about my family! I really couldnt imagine living with a more perfect host family. They are so wonderful to me in every way.

Alright that is all for now! I am safe and well and happy. I promise that I will manage to post pictures and videos soon. I send my love to all of you!

p.s. no time to proofread so please excuse any spelling errors!

Life in Madurai

The weirdest part of everything going on right now is how normal it feels. I have officially been living with my host family in Madurai for a week and already it feels like a century.

Madurai is wonderful. It is definitely my favorite cities out of the ones we have been in (plane landed in Chennai and we were had orientation in Thanjavor.) It is crowded but the people are so so kind. They are always more than willing to help when we are lost or confused and always want to know more about us (especially when we attempt to speak a bit of Tamil).

I have finally mastered cycling to and from school in the morning. It was rather more than terrifying in the begining. I have to take a route which brings me down many huge streets and across some atrocious right turns. I had this long complicated map with some landmarks rather than street names (many streets dont have names and if they do they are written in tamil... which uses a syllabic alphabet of 247 characters.) So the act of figuring out which way to go was itself a monumental task (even though i am quite the wizard of directions... cough cough). On top of this, the traffic is silly. the streets are packed with cars and motorcyles and scooties and buses and autos and other bikes and people walking and stray dogs. Trying to stay alive and not be mowed down by any of the vehicles whizzing their way like 2 cm away from you and outrunning the buses that move like whales through the streets is difficult enough without also having no idea where I am. Then i pull over and ask for her but the people i select may not speak very good english... after getting lost a few times though and maybe sobbing a bit- I finally figured out not only my way to school but what is on many of the other roads around the area as well- silver lining!

My host family is utterly sublime. I love them with all of my heart. My host mom (Srideevi- devi for short) is reallly cool. She is young and totally chill and helpful. She doesnt get stressed out easily or force food upon me like many of the others. She is funny and smart. Her two daughters (swastika- 11 and shrinidhi- 8) and SO cute. They love cuddling with me and playing, and exploring my things, and singing and teaching me how to dance (since I stink) and laughing at my attempts at tamil and basically just hanging out every sec of every day. Which is perfect until i have work to do... But they really make the host family experience so much easier because they offer me tips and constantly break the ice with new people and experiences. I love them so much. Then there is my Ammaa. I am literally obsessed with this woman- my grandma. She is very round and small and she has tiny hands and feet. She jabbers away at me in Tamil and is always smiling and laughing. She prasctically died when she saw my Toms with holes in them and spent all afternoon getting out tons of her shoes and trying to give them to me. Finally we found a pair and we threw away my old shoes. Unfortunatlye the shoes she gave me broke the first time i wore them... she was in a tizzy at this and avidly found me new ones. She also gave me a nightie (that is what they call the floor length night gowns that you sleep in here) and tried to give me tons of clothes. She always wants to take care of me. She giggles and shouts at me when I hold my hands together in respect protesting that I am her grandaughter and should do nothing of the sort.  I just wish i could put her in my pocket and take her to school.

School- classes are amazing. I love learning Tamil even though it is extremely difficult. All of my professors are amazing- smart, funny, approachable- just absolute gems. The classes are tiny- obviuosly no more than 12 students in any class since that is how many people are on my program. Oh Sita! You are literally the best study abroad program ever! I adore all of the other students on my program- such interesting, wholesome and adventurous people. I wake up every morning excited to beginning my day and (despite the cycling) feel nothing but elation until I go to sleep at night. Well, elation and exhaustion. The days are hot and cultural immersion is quite tiring.

Okay well i feel that I have barely scratched the surface of life here but at least you all have a tiny taste of what i have been up to! More to come!

To find ... what again?

I have been in India for about 4 days at this point but if feels like half a lifetime. Each day goes by SO SLOWLY. Every moment, every gesture, every exchange is new and fascinating. Some of the time I feel like an alien completely overwhelmed and exhausted, but most of the time I feel like a small child intoxicated with life and head-over-heels in love and in awe of every aspect of everthing.

Lesson One in India: Everything you thought you knew, every bit of advice you read about or were given by well intending friends and family, every instinct you have about how to read other people and how to be polite is pretty much wrong. I really am like an infant at this point. I am learning a whole vocabulary of how to behave step by step, day by day, situation by situation, and awkard mistake by awkward mistake. Therefore I have decided that I will take you through with me as I go (from one concrete thing to the next).

For example right now: I am sitting typing at this computer on this very small desk that a man has decided to clean. I awkwardly apologized and made to move away at which he protested and gestured for me to continue. I smiled and sat back down (do i leave, do i go? which is polite? i dont know- best i can do is smile right?) he grins back and now he stares at me the whole time while he cleans. I realize that i have flirted with this man. He continues to clean for over 10 minutes (the same spots on this very small desk) and then smiles and waves goodbye. I smile and wave too (okay yay this moment is over!) he grins very wide, winks and laughs. Great- i just flirted with him AGAIN.

This situation is a very small example of what goes on ALL OF THE TIME. (he has left by the way) Not always the awkwardness of gender relations, although that is very awkward to get used to, but the awkwardness of everything in my life- talking to street vendors, sharing a confused moment with a woman trying to teach me how to worship a Goddess in the temple (in Tamil), refusing a beggar, almost getting mowed down by a bicycle which is almost getting mowed down by a giant bus. I just have not yet learned how to BE in this country. Give it time. Time.

Okay so small topic of today is streets:
They are insane. Absolutely nuts. There are people all around traveling by such a plethora of different vehicles. The traffic laws seem to basically be a hierarchy- if you are bigger, you win. Horns are used as a way of saying- "hey what's up! I'm here!" so they are used pretty much non stop. The noise and commotion sweeps you away, completely overwhelming your consciousness.

Additionally, people stare and point openly at us, sometimes they call out. In general all this attention embarrased and overwhelmed me at first. If you can embrace it though, you realize that really they are just interested in you the way that you are interested in them. The culture here is more foward and friendly than in the states so their attempts to engage me feel abrasive. I am learning though, not to instinctively withdraw from this but rather to open myself up. I realized that I came here feeling guilty about who I was and where I came from, perhaps from hearing so many times about how the rest of the world "hates Americans". This made me self-conscious, unnecessarily apologetic and quick to assume that people were laughing at me. After learning (credit: Dr. Eial) that many Indians actually love Americans and really are excited that we are participating in their culture, I have resolved to just delve in, to go for it. I am here because I love your culture! I want to learn from you.

still very much in that first "f"of culture shock,
yours fascinatedly,
Ali

And so it begins!

I am sitting in the airport in Frankfurt Germany. I am surrounded by a huge plethora of languages and currencies. I went to buy myself some breakfast after changing some of my money to Euros and was greeted by a sign that listed about 20 different kinds of currency that thez accepted, including US dollars. Ah well. The woman working in the little cafe was amazing- she kept switching languages as customers from all around the world tried to purchase her treats.

The computer I am using is basically like a payphone- you insert coins and get some internet time. The keyboard is clunky and awkward though which caused me much frustration in the beginning (after sending a few emails, I am quite a pro now). The y and z keys are switched...

So far our little group of 12 students seems prettz awesome. There are 11 girls (including me) and 1 boy- Sahil. He is a great sport. My trans- atlantic flight was not too bad, but I am jittery from a combination of EXCITEMENT, nerves, lack of sleep and this cold steel keyboard.

Oh! I recieved a camera as an early birthdaz/ going away present so I will be able to upload pictures soon! (Thank you again Mike!!!!!!!!!). I have one picture that I want to share with you all because it is quite precious even though it is much closer to home than I am now! The airport in albany has the loveliest little meditation room that I just about peed myself over. I spent quite a quantity of time showering the room in love (and taking a picture of course). It was such a warm space, I could sense that many others before me had held it just as dear.

Anyway this is is my last entry before I finally arrive on the subcontinent itself. I will keep blogging as often as I can.

Thanks for reading, as always!

Also, here's a little love from the german keyboard: ßßöä °°° üü§§§§€€€ €ß63öä9ß3ü3€ö€

New Country Resolutions

 As I reach this precipice in my life, this moment of transfer from one phase to another, I am taking the opportunity to make some resolutions. The New Year has always seemed an odd time to do this because it separates two periods that are otherwise substantively identical. What is the real difference between 2012 and 2013 other than the number?  I like making resolutions at moments of change- the beginning of a school year, the beginning of a new job, the beginning of a new friendship, and now, the beginning of a new country.

Resolution 1: Floss. I have to credit Carla in this resolution. It was her last New Years resolution and I loved the simplicity and feasibility in it. Flossing is also frightfully important as my dentist continues to tell me time and time again. Did you know that if you had to choose between spending those precious few minutes flossing and brushing your teeth, it would actually be better to floss? I always think that I don’t have time. This is kibosh. If I ever actually do not have time in my days to floss my teeth, the structure of my days must change. I also credit Mary Catherine and Charlotte in this resolution- two inspiring, conscientious flossers.

Resolution 2: Yoga. Yoga makes my body feel powerful and alive in a way that nothing else ever has. I do not yet know what presence it will have in my life but I intend to explore it more in the bit of earth it calls home.

Resolution 3: Never wait. I hereby resolve to eject the word wait from my life.

The thing is, waiting is not in fact an act; it is a state. To wait is to be stuck in time, doing nothing in the nothingness waiting for a something to arrive. Sometimes it can be accompanied by emotions such as dread or anticipation, but the emotions are separate from the physical waiting. I am no longer going to allow myself to waste present moments in thoughts consumed with the future. Of course I will still allow feelings of anticipation and dread to pass through me- trying to wall off emotions is like trying to capture light in a jar. However, I will concentrate on looking for something I can appreciate about each moment that is given to me in and of itself. 

            Ex 1: Waiting for my bus to arrive at the greyhound station is a chance to look upon, really look upon my compatriots. What is America? Who is this American that I am going to be representing in India? Also people watching can be hilariously fun… (shout- out to the funny man next to me massaging his nipples while he reads a book about body building and exercise)

            Ex 2: Rather than viewing these days as waiting for my plane to India, I have decided to cherish them as the last few moments in a long time that I will spend with my family in my home. I am going to soak in the normalcy of life in America, the comfort of feeling at home and stable.

I have to speak a bit to where this third resolution came from. The last week or so of July was a painful time for my family. It marked the passing of my grandmother from this world into another. As usual though, the days before it happened were in many ways more difficult than the days after. She was in a coma and although she was still breathing, it was clear that she was already gone. We would set alarms every two hours day or night to administer her drugs (mostly just to relieve the pain at that point). We would try to keep her clean and comfortable (far more difficult than it sounds). We would moisten her lips with water to keep them from breaking apart and we would do our best to keep her dentures from falling out. Aside from gaining an enormous appreciation for my three aunts- Ana Maria, Jane, and Sue, you are all miracle workers, I gained a new appreciation for empty time. We were all in her home together sitting around passing the time watching the Olympics and sitting with Grandma. At first it seemed to me like we were just waiting for her to die- I mean weren’t we? We had all halted our lives to be together and would fly back to our respective worlds once she passed.  But as the days went on, I realized that that was missing the point of the whole thing. We weren’t waiting for her to die, we were savoring the last few days of her life. She was already gone and we couldn’t spend them with her, but we could still spend them in a way that honored her memory, with each other. I got to know many members of my family in a way that I never have before. I am related to so many incredibly strong, capable, and beautiful people. It was a blessing to be able to come together around Grandma and shower her and each other in love and support as she embarked on a journey out of our lives. To say that we were waiting demonstrates a misunderstanding of the entire situation. We were receiving, cherishing, sending, supporting, loving and growing, but we were not waiting. 

Well that got a little longer than I meant it to. I guess that is what happens when I am cramped on a bus with nothing but my thoughts to entertain me.

Happy August.

p.s.  As much as I loathe how dreadfully cold this greyhound bus is that I am on, I am trying to appreciate the cold. Who knows how many buses I will be on in India which will make me want to vomit from the heat?  Thank you greyhound for giving me this taste of the arctic right before I venture to the equator.