I have been in India for about 4 days at this point but if feels like half a lifetime. Each day goes by SO SLOWLY. Every moment, every gesture, every exchange is new and fascinating. Some of the time I feel like an alien completely overwhelmed and exhausted, but most of the time I feel like a small child intoxicated with life and head-over-heels in love and in awe of every aspect of everthing.
Lesson One in India: Everything you thought you knew, every bit of advice you read about or were given by well intending friends and family, every instinct you have about how to read other people and how to be polite is pretty much wrong. I really am like an infant at this point. I am learning a whole vocabulary of how to behave step by step, day by day, situation by situation, and awkard mistake by awkward mistake. Therefore I have decided that I will take you through with me as I go (from one concrete thing to the next).
For example right now: I am sitting typing at this computer on this very small desk that a man has decided to clean. I awkwardly apologized and made to move away at which he protested and gestured for me to continue. I smiled and sat back down (do i leave, do i go? which is polite? i dont know- best i can do is smile right?) he grins back and now he stares at me the whole time while he cleans. I realize that i have flirted with this man. He continues to clean for over 10 minutes (the same spots on this very small desk) and then smiles and waves goodbye. I smile and wave too (okay yay this moment is over!) he grins very wide, winks and laughs. Great- i just flirted with him AGAIN.
This situation is a very small example of what goes on ALL OF THE TIME. (he has left by the way) Not always the awkwardness of gender relations, although that is very awkward to get used to, but the awkwardness of everything in my life- talking to street vendors, sharing a confused moment with a woman trying to teach me how to worship a Goddess in the temple (in Tamil), refusing a beggar, almost getting mowed down by a bicycle which is almost getting mowed down by a giant bus. I just have not yet learned how to BE in this country. Give it time. Time.
Okay so small topic of today is streets:
They are insane. Absolutely nuts. There are people all around traveling by such a plethora of different vehicles. The traffic laws seem to basically be a hierarchy- if you are bigger, you win. Horns are used as a way of saying- "hey what's up! I'm here!" so they are used pretty much non stop. The noise and commotion sweeps you away, completely overwhelming your consciousness.
Additionally, people stare and point openly at us, sometimes they call out. In general all this attention embarrased and overwhelmed me at first. If you can embrace it though, you realize that really they are just interested in you the way that you are interested in them. The culture here is more foward and friendly than in the states so their attempts to engage me feel abrasive. I am learning though, not to instinctively withdraw from this but rather to open myself up. I realized that I came here feeling guilty about who I was and where I came from, perhaps from hearing so many times about how the rest of the world "hates Americans". This made me self-conscious, unnecessarily apologetic and quick to assume that people were laughing at me. After learning (credit: Dr. Eial) that many Indians actually love Americans and really are excited that we are participating in their culture, I have resolved to just delve in, to go for it. I am here because I love your culture! I want to learn from you.
still very much in that first "f"of culture shock,
yours fascinatedly,
Ali
Lesson One in India: Everything you thought you knew, every bit of advice you read about or were given by well intending friends and family, every instinct you have about how to read other people and how to be polite is pretty much wrong. I really am like an infant at this point. I am learning a whole vocabulary of how to behave step by step, day by day, situation by situation, and awkard mistake by awkward mistake. Therefore I have decided that I will take you through with me as I go (from one concrete thing to the next).
For example right now: I am sitting typing at this computer on this very small desk that a man has decided to clean. I awkwardly apologized and made to move away at which he protested and gestured for me to continue. I smiled and sat back down (do i leave, do i go? which is polite? i dont know- best i can do is smile right?) he grins back and now he stares at me the whole time while he cleans. I realize that i have flirted with this man. He continues to clean for over 10 minutes (the same spots on this very small desk) and then smiles and waves goodbye. I smile and wave too (okay yay this moment is over!) he grins very wide, winks and laughs. Great- i just flirted with him AGAIN.
This situation is a very small example of what goes on ALL OF THE TIME. (he has left by the way) Not always the awkwardness of gender relations, although that is very awkward to get used to, but the awkwardness of everything in my life- talking to street vendors, sharing a confused moment with a woman trying to teach me how to worship a Goddess in the temple (in Tamil), refusing a beggar, almost getting mowed down by a bicycle which is almost getting mowed down by a giant bus. I just have not yet learned how to BE in this country. Give it time. Time.
Okay so small topic of today is streets:
They are insane. Absolutely nuts. There are people all around traveling by such a plethora of different vehicles. The traffic laws seem to basically be a hierarchy- if you are bigger, you win. Horns are used as a way of saying- "hey what's up! I'm here!" so they are used pretty much non stop. The noise and commotion sweeps you away, completely overwhelming your consciousness.
Additionally, people stare and point openly at us, sometimes they call out. In general all this attention embarrased and overwhelmed me at first. If you can embrace it though, you realize that really they are just interested in you the way that you are interested in them. The culture here is more foward and friendly than in the states so their attempts to engage me feel abrasive. I am learning though, not to instinctively withdraw from this but rather to open myself up. I realized that I came here feeling guilty about who I was and where I came from, perhaps from hearing so many times about how the rest of the world "hates Americans". This made me self-conscious, unnecessarily apologetic and quick to assume that people were laughing at me. After learning (credit: Dr. Eial) that many Indians actually love Americans and really are excited that we are participating in their culture, I have resolved to just delve in, to go for it. I am here because I love your culture! I want to learn from you.
still very much in that first "f"of culture shock,
yours fascinatedly,
Ali
wow, sounds truly shocking and disorienting... well you pretty much describe it all! I can't really imagine or know what it is like, but in the US you are SO good at dealing with awkward situations! You have the ability to lay it all out there, smile, laugh, resolve and walk away having the awkwardness blossom into affection.
ReplyDeleteBut, I realize it must be totally different over there. It sounds like the culture in India has extreme difference, making the shock that much more intense. But, once you can BE in a place you experienced culture shock, you can do anything! You are awesome.
x's and o's from chiang mai!